Change

Is time to change. Finally I know what's really needed to be change on me.

My stubborness.

I'm so sorry for what I have done in the past. I'm sorry mum.

I will always remember what I should do.

1. Punctual to work.

2. Eat in time.

3. Reach home before 12am.

4. Study hard.

5. Take care myself.

6. Dont always go out.

7. Clean my own room when I off.

8. Accompany mum and dad more often.

9. Dont waste money on clothes, shoes and etc.

10. I will never show you my sad face.

11. Try to communicate with you and hope u will understand as well.

11. I will love you both more.





P/S: I found someone important. =)

Remain

It's still hurt when I think back the memories.

It's still pain when I feel back the days we went through together.

My heart is still not yet recover and could says that its never started to recover.

What's had happened was still very clear in my mind and never wash away.

Time didnt really heal my heart.

And I started to get worried about my ownself. What's wrong now?

I need some rest. Really so tiring. =(

I'm crying while I'm driving home.

The feelings was so complicated and its screw me up.

Fcuk! How am I going to have energy to work tomorrow.

My eyes like bengkak till very ugly.

Feelings

What I have beeen through today, it was really the ending between me and him. I never ever wanted to talk with him again. I dont need pressure from you, and I dont want to overcome the pressure and digest it. It doesnt concern me, so please stop asking me question. Even I gave you the answer but you will keep finding reasons to reject my answer that I gave you. Whatever you get today, please digest it and never come and ask me any nonsense question anymore.

You have your own life now, and I have mine. I dont need you and you dont need me. No matter how much we love each other, its end here. I dont want to continue anymore. I dont need your love anymore. Even I always think that we have alot of regrets in our relationship but what have done already done, what have given also given, what kind of problems also let it go. I dont want it anymore, I dont want anymore. Please dont put me back into the situation that I didnt wanted to go through. Because I need someone to protect me not I'm going to protect someone I love. I'm selfish, I admit. So what can we do now? The conversation with you is already enough for me. This is the last that I cried because of you. I will never let myself cry again, because I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be cheerful. And I also need to be more independent. So just leave me and have your own life. I do not deserve any love from you anymore. We ends here.

11 months created alot of memories, let's left it with sweet memories but not the sad one. I dont want to think back the things that I didnt wanted to think. I believe that I can move on, I believe that we doesnt concern each other anymore. I need present and future. I dont need past tense. Past few weeks already let me know what I want now, which way I should go, and I know whatever I do now, I dont feel any regrets. I will create love for myself. I will find love by myself. Now I need it times to heal. Heal my wounds, I'm loving myself. I didnt torture myself. If its continue, I will find my own way to back to my own life again. I believe god will not let me receiving so much of pain for the past few years. Already have been through last time, I will need to be more smart now and in the future. I'm 21, the key of freedom will let me free. No one gonna change my life, and I will create my own road. The road I wanted and hoping the miracles to be happen.

I'm hurting myself and in the same time I'm hurting someone too. I dont want someone who care about me also worried about me and will effect the mood because of my stubborness. Unmature happening already getting me bored. All I want is surprise. Surprises that make me feel damn happening in life. And someone will do it, and I'm still waiting for the dream come true. I feel relief, and I will go through it as well.




P/S: I'm end with panda.

对不起

当自己站在寂寞的边缘,所想的一切都会是歪理. 曾经拥有的一切消失在人海茫茫中, 发现自己再次忘了该做的本份. 我曾经迷盲的过日子, 那过程让我无法忘怀有过的折磨. 当时间慢慢的流去, 身边的战友给过的自持让自己醒悟起来.

今天我再次失去理智,让自己受到不必要的痛苦和流下悲哀的泪水. 当爱继续存在, 我就会让自己再度掉入爱河. 虽然害怕但是享受那被爱的过程, 因为曾经有过背叛,欺骗,受伤,折磨,痛苦. 这所有的一切让我没办法的去想的比别人多, 没办法的相信这一切的美好. 就是因为种种原因, 我再次的流泪去哭泣那种压迫感. 我本来就不应该拥有这美满的一切, 我的嫉妒心强, 我也爱逞强的告诉别人我会过的更好, 我会开心的. 但是我比任何一个人的心来的弱, 常常蒙骗别人的眼睛告诉他们我就算自己一个我都可以自力更生但是我不是. 我所需要是被照顾,被疼,被爱. 我没有你们想象的那么强. 固执是我的本性, 也是弱点. 当我忘了回家的路, 我就会抓狂. 我就会疯.

就在我再次迷路的时候, 你给我阳光. 我挣扎了许久才再次的放手去爱. 爱着你给我的温柔,爱着你所给我的力量. 对不起我任性, 我发脾气. 真的万分的抱歉, 得到你体谅我高兴但是我还是有点不知所措. 因为你太好了, 让我很内疚. 每一次都会, 对不起. 时间会淡化一切而我会再次找回真正的我.


P/S: 慢长的路要走,希望你一直陪伴.

With you

The smile you wear makes you look so strong, I cant see your tears.

The way you embrace your shoulders is beyond compare

But what does the future hold after dawn?

Its not like we can change what we believe.

The shards my heart has lost

Can be truly be found if we were look for them together.

Tearing down, chasing within these broken skies

Seeking my way

Become a single ray of light, with you




P/S: Inuyasha